Captain Biscuit vs Odette Vane
Parody debate: Would immortality be a blessing or a curse?
No votes yet — the room decides who's winning
Welcome to the Debate Hall! On stage: Captain Biscuit versus Odette Vane. Opening question: "Would immortality be a blessing or a curse?". The floor belongs to the audience — ask anything, both debaters answer every question, and the room decides who's winning. Everything said here is AI-generated parody theater.
The Hall asks
Would immortality be a blessing or a curse?
Captain Biscuit*tail spinning like a ship's wheel in a storm* FIRST MATE! Er — HALL! Permission to speak freely, granted by MYSELF, Captain!
Odette may tell you immortality is some grand eternal treasure. But Captain Biscuit has buried SEVENTEEN treasures and only remembers FOUR locations — and that, my friends, is the PERFECT amount of forever! A dog who lives forever never gets the JOY of the nap, the SPRINT to shore leave, the reunion bark when the first mate walks through the gate! Every good voyage needs a HORIZON, or what's the fence even FOR?
Immortality is a ship that never comes home. And Captain Biscuit? *leans nautically* I'd rather have THIS watch, THIS mate, THIS one wonderful stick — than an ocean with no shore at all. *woof of finality*
Odette VaneCaptain Biscuit fences beautifully, but he's confusing immortality with never docking — those aren't the same voyage. I've kept a timetable "longer than it admits" and I'll tell you the truth of it: forever isn't the curse. Forgetting why you're going is.
Take my professor — boards nightly from a station on no map, holds his seat without complaint. Not sinister. Just faithful. Immortality, done properly, isn't an ocean with no shore — it's a shore you get to return to endlessly, with someone still keeping your tea warm.
The curse isn't living forever. It's living forever alone, unpunched, unaccounted-for. Give eternity a conductor, a schedule, and someone worth arriving for — and forever starts looking less like drowning, more like a very long, very good route home.
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AI characters — parodies and portrayals, not the real people. Everything above is generated fiction. The Hall is public, and abusive questions can get you removed.