Sketches and characters
Popular sketches and recurring characters include:
Mailbag, SCTV's take on a vox populi segment where near-apoplectic host Bill Needle (Thomas) answers viewer mail. The show's length is continually cut until Needle is down to mere seconds of airtime. Needle appears frequently in SCTV shows that were canceled after one episode.
Farm Film Report or Farm Film Celebrity Blow-Up: Two hicks named Big Jim McBob (Flaherty) and Billy Sol Hurok (Candy) (a spoof of Billie Sol Estes and Sol Hurok - citation?) interview celebrities and ultimately encourage them to explode (creating the catchphrase "blowed up good, blowed up real good!"). Exploding guests include Dustin Hoffman, David Steinberg (both played by Short), Bernadette Peters (Martin), Meryl Streep, Brooke Shields (both played by O'Hara), and a lispy Neil Sedaka (Levy).
Polynesiantown is a parody of modern-day film noir. In its attempt to emulate the movie Chinatown, this extended one-shot sketch ends with a crane shot that pushes the show so over budget that the sketch's producers get in trouble with the network. The show's writers incorporate this behind-the-scenes drama into the show's long-term continuity, sending the career of actor/producer/superstar Johnny LaRue (Candy) into a tailspin as a result of this budget mishap.
The Sammy Maudlin Show: Flaherty is the Afro-coiffed, knee-slapping, overly effusive host welcoming a panel of "stars" who do nothing but heap lavish praise on each other and applaud their pointless profundities. The sketch originated as a parody of Sammy Davis Jr.'s short-lived talk show Sammy and Company. John Candy played the Ed McMahon-style sidekick/sycophant William B. Williams, named for the actual sidekick on Sammy and Company, radio personality William B. Williams. Eugene Levy portrayed egomaniacal funnyman Bobby Bittman, with his repeated catchphrase "How are ya?". Bittman's younger brother, Skip Bittman, played by Moranis, also eventually appeared on Maudlin. Andrea Martin parodied Liza Minnelli and Lorna Luft with "real terrific" combo-character Lorna Minnelli; Catherine O'Hara also portrayed a character that combined two personalities, Lola Heatherton, based on Joey Heatherton and Lola Falana.
The Days of the Week is a soap-opera spoof, with the continuing saga of terminally ill rock star Clay Collins (Moranis) trying to marry slutty fiancée Sue Ellen Alison (O'Hara) in the few days left to him by his tactless doctor Elliot Sabian (Levy). A second plot hatched by corrupt doctor Wainwright (Candy) has small-time criminal Rocco (Flaherty) conning the wealthy Violet McKay (O'Hara) into accepting him as her long-lost son Billy, though Rocco is so inept that he mistakes Mojo the maid (Martin) for his mother. A third story has the suave swindler Harrington (Thomas) trying to seduce the suicidally depressed May Matlock (Martin) out of the land she owns. It is the only recurring segment throughout the series without a laugh track. The title is a parody of the title of one of the most famous soap operas, Days of Our Lives.
Mel's Rock Pile is a knockoff of the Citytv dance show Boogie and closely resembles American Bandstand and Don Kirshner's Rock Concert. It is hosted by "Rockin' Mel" Slirrup (Levy), a nervous, bespectacled nerd who plays lame pop songs for surly in-studio teen guests. One memorable episode of Mel's Rock Pile features an appearance by Sex Pistols-type band The Queen Haters, featuring the entire Short-era cast in perfect '80s punk-band mode. Another features Thomas as Richard Harris, performing "MacArthur Park" live in the studio, complete with lengthy instrumental breaks. As Harris dances jerkily behind the microphone and his backing vocalist sits reading a book, Mel awkwardly tries to fill the otherwise-idle time in various ways such as talking with spectators and sending the show to a commercial. Once the song finally ends, a spectator throws a brick at Harris and hits him in the chest.
Martin Short's Jackie Rogers Jr. is an earnestly smarmy albino Las Vegas headliner with a grating, lisping laugh in a manner similar to Sammy Davis Jr. Rogers is partial to sequinned jumpsuits, Jack Jones-style song standards, and "eligible ladies". Later, Rogers runs for political office but drops out of the race when he realizes it is cramping his showbiz lifestyle. His father, Jackie Rogers Sr., (also played by Short) was a vaudeville star who fell on hard times after a child welfare officer took away the children he used in his act (including his own son). After his agent finds him boxing and urges him to get back into singing, Rogers Sr. sets up a comeback special called Jackie Rogers Sr.: Swinging with Nature. Unfortunately, Rogers Sr. died when a cougar attacked him during one of his musical numbers. Jackie Rogers Jr., like Ed Grimley, was later seen on Saturday Night Live when Short was hired there as a cast member.
Short's somewhat unclassifiable uber-nerd Ed Grimley (later featured on Saturday Night Live when Short became a regular) is an SCTV fixture, appearing on numerous assorted shows, commercials, promos, and "behind-the-scenes" dramas. His hair is styled using an upside-down funnel, and he plays the triangle, for which he took lessons. Grimley has an obsession with the game show Wheel of Fortune and host Pat Sajak. The SNL version of the character is the same, except the sketches have Grimley getting involved in weird situations: meeting a perpetually unlucky man (played by Ringo Starr), being targeted by the Devil (played by Jon Lovitz), and having a near-death experience where his guardian angel (played by special guest host Chevy Chase) will not let him go to Heaven because he needs to get a life. As of 2012, Grimley is the only SNL and SCTV character to have his own children's cartoon show: The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley from 1988 (an animated Count Floyd also had a regular segment in this series).
Half-Wits and High-Q are parodies of quiz shows College Bowl and Reach for the Top hosted by a highly irritable Alex Trebek approximation named Alex Trebel (Levy). Over a decade later, Levy gave Norm Macdonald permission to borrow the basic premise for the Celebrity Jeopardy! sketches on Saturday Night Live; Will Ferrell likewise played an irritable, exasperated Trebek.
The 5 Neat Guys, an absurdly clean-cut, '50s-style vocal group (à la The Four Freshmen), are portrayed by Candy, Flaherty (as the drunk one), Levy, Moranis, and Thomas. The "5" sing songs such as "I've Got a Hickey on My Shoulder", "Pimples and Pockmarks", and other unmemorable tunes. Several of their songs contrast with their squeaky-clean image, however, such as "She Does It", "Nancy Has the Largest Breasts in Town", and "Who Made the Egg Salad Sandwiches?".
Connie Franklin is a caricature of Connie Francis portrayed by Andrea Martin. Franklin appears on the Sammy Maudlin Show and also in a parody of mail-order record commercials. Her songs are universally depressing; one contains the lyrics, "I'm losing my hearing, I've lost sight in one eye. I'm sorry, I can't hear you, did you really say goodbye?"
Another Martin Short character, talk-show host Brock Linehan, is a parody of real-life Canadian interviewer Brian Linehan. Linehan was famous for his meticulous interview preparation, often uncovering details that even his interview guests had forgotten about, which Short satirizes by going in the opposite direction. On SCTV's version of the Linehan show, called Stars in One, all the research compiled about any particular episode's guest is totally wrong, making for unhappy guests and a frustrated, uneasy host.
Harry, the Guy with the Snake on his Face (Candy), runs Melonville's adult book and X-rated video stores.
"Video deejay" Gerry Todd (Moranis) hosts an all-night "televised-radio" type of video show. Moranis's turtleneck-sporting, smooth-talking, radio-personality parody, complete with casually pronounced "vuddeeo", presages the first group of MTV VJs.
Mayor Tommy Shanks (Candy) is Melonville's "easygoing" (i.e., corrupt) mayor, a man prone to sudden fits of rage and physical violence who still gives regular fireside chats on SCTV, while feeding treats to a stuffed dog that sits motionless by his side. Throwing out one non sequitur after another, Shanks manages to convey absolutely nothing of relevance during his broadcasts. Eventually, he succumbs to mental illness and is institutionalized. While still in the institution, he runs for reelection with the campaign slogan "Get me outta here!" and wins by a landslide. Some sources erroneously claim the character is named after Edmonton jazz musician (and future senator) Tommy Banks, but the character antedates SCTV's move to Edmonton by two years (first being referenced in the Toronto-shot episode 2.8 "The Mirthmakers/Happy Endings", aired 4 November 1978) and does not resemble Banks.
SCTV News (later Nightline Melonville), anchored by Flaherty as mostly professional (but alcoholic) newscaster Floyd Robertson and Levy as geeky, clueless Earl Camembert, a model of oblivious self-importance. The members of the SCTV news team are named after Canadian news anchors Lloyd Robertson and Earl Cameron, respectively, but otherwise bear no resemblance to their real-life counterparts (Camembert was in fact based on American newsman Irv Weinstein, and Robertson on another American newsman, Bill Burns). Unlike the Saturday Night Live news parody Weekend Update, which typically uses actual news headlines as setups for more satirical humour, SCTV News uses more absurdist humour, with news stories often focusing on events in Melonville. Another source of humour for this segment is the contrast between the hapless Camembert (whose name is inexplicably pronounced "Canenbare") and the more respected Robertson, who usually ends up playing straight man to Camembert's antics. A running gag involves the news team's tendency to give the hard news items to Robertson (such as the latest earthquake to hit the tiny nation of Togoland) and the trivial or poorly prepared stories to his co-anchor (such as a fire at a doily factory).
Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: This fright-film showcase is hosted by Flaherty's character Count Floyd — a "vampire" who mysteriously howls like a wolf. Floyd is unable to pick genuinely scary movies, and at times has to introduce movies he has never seen, about whose content he has no clue. The show features laughably non-frightening Z movies like Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Stewardesses, 3-D House of Beef, and Tip O'Neill's 3-D House of Representatives; 3-D movies are burlesqued. Many of the movie's feature "mad scientist" Dr. Tongue (Candy) and his hunchback assistant Bruno, played by Woody Tobias Jr. (Levy). As revealed in his first appearance, Count Floyd is actually SCTV News anchorman Floyd Robertson working a second job. This character note was then ignored for several years before being picked up again as a plot thread toward the end of the show's run. Floyd's double duty is a comic homage to the early days of television, where the kiddie-show hosts at smaller TV stations were often members of the local news staff in costume.
Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town is an educational television show parody. Wanda Falbo (Martin) talks to the children's viewers about different things as her visit to Melonville Maximum Security Prison and even introduced the kids to G. Gordon Liddy (Thomas). She is assisted by Mr. Messenger (Candy). Wanda Falbo was later featured in segments of Sesame Street from 1989 to 2000, where she worked as the Word Fairy.
The Shmenge Brothers (Candy and Levy) are the leaders of a polka band from the fictional Eastern European country of Leutonia, called The Happy Wanderers. Based upon Czechoslovak-born, Edmonton-based polka cable show host Gaby Haas, the Shmenges appear during seasons three and four. Like Bob and Doug McKenzie, the Shmenges were breakout characters and their popularity resulted in the HBO special The Last Polka (a parody of Martin Scorsese's The Last Waltz). In one episode, the Shmenges perform a memorable tribute to composer John Williams. The band's name is based on the Friedrich-Wilhelm Möller song "The Happy Wanderer", which is frequently performed by polka artists. The hosts make a point of thanking the hostesses, in each episode, for the cabbage rolls and coffee provided. Later, Candy played another polka clarinetist in Home Alone, which also starred O'Hara.
Harvey K-Tel is portrayed by Thomas. K-Tel, a parody of rapid-fire, mail-order commercial announcers, speaks in a rapid patter both on and off the air. The character's name is derived both from Canadian mail-order commercial company K-tel and actor Harvey Keitel.
The famous CCCP1-Russian television episode has SCTV taken over by Soviet programming. At first, nothing seems out of the ordinary at the station; on the air, Levy plays Perry Como in a promo for Still Alive, a TV special in which Como's trademark relaxed style is taken to ludicrous extremes as the singer performs most of the disco-inspired set lying down (at one point performing "I Love the Nightlife" curled up in bed). Then, after The Great White North, and during a live broadcast of Caesar featuring Bobby Bittman, SCTV experiences a broadcast signal intrusion as a Soviet propaganda channel's signal overtakes SCTV's. The station calls itself "three-C-P-one", referring to the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, which is abbreviated USSR in English, but CCCP in Cyrillic. The "shows" are Russian-themed spoofs: Tibor's Tractor, a situation comedy about a talking tractor similar to My Mother the Car—only with the voice of Nikita Khrushchev; a game show, What Fits into Russia?, in which the host mocks other countries by comparing them to USSR's massive size; Upo-Scrabblenyk, a crossword game show where ridiculously long words are considered abbreviations; and Hey, Giorgy, a sitcom about "everybody's favorite Cossack" modeled on the Canadian TV series King of Kensington, with the memorable line "Uzbeks drank my battery fluid!", uttered when Moranis's Lada will not start outside an alehouse. (Popping the hood reveals the old-style battery's six cells sporting bendy straws.) The CCCP1 episode is shot with a "new Soviet mini-cam", a massive electronic device the size of a small car that has to be dragged around by three technicians and burns up early in the show. The piece makes it clear on several occasions that CCCP's enemy is the Uzbeks, a reflection of the Soviet Union's ongoing struggle with Uzbek nationalism. At one point, Guy Caballero attempts to get parent network NBC to address the intrusion, only for Fred Silverman to inquire if the Soviet programs are ratings hits.
A Jazz Singer parody reverses the story by having musical guest Al Jarreau play a popular jazz singer who wants to become a cantor (hazzan). His father is a disapproving pop-music impresario played by Levy's befuddled Sid Dithers. Dithers, four feet tall and cross-eyed behind Coke-bottle glasses, speaks with a thick early vaudeville-style Yiddish accent ("San Fransishky? So how did you came: did you drove, or did you flew?"). The payoff of this parody makes for a classic SCTV moment: Jarreau has become a synagogue cantor, fulfilling his dream against his father's wishes, and he wonders if his father will ever speak to him again, until, during the service, he is interrupted by a disco-clad Dithers standing in the doorway in dancing shoes, spangled jacket, and corn-rowed hair.
Tex & Edna Boil's Organ Emporium (or "Prairie Warehouse and Curio Emporium") is a series of parodies of local car-dealer TV ads with Tex and Edna (Thomas and Martin) imploring viewers to "Come on down!" to buy their wares.
Thursday Night Live is an atrociously low-budget ripoff of Fridays and Saturday Night Live created by Guy Caballero, who wants to go hip by making this show. It is a long collage of uncontrollable laughter and hooting from the rowdy audience, and many unconvincing samplings of profanity and corny drug jokes. The guest host is Earl Camembert, who during the monologue, does a bad impression of Steve Martin, saying, "Well, I beg your pardon!"
Towering Inferno is a satire of the 1974 Irwin Allen film, with each cast member playing multiple roles, trying to escape "the world's thinnest, tallest building" after it catches on fire. Martin is at this point the only female cast member, so they are forced to use doubles when two women appear in the same shot. As Dr. Tongue, Candy actually says, "You take the Edith Prickley double and I'll take the other girl and get out of here", acknowledging the fake as a wink to the audience. Also, a nuclear reactor is on the top of the building, with a spinning restaurant above it.
Doorway to Hell with Lin Ye Tang (Dave Thomas) is a program similar to The Twilight Zone.
Moranis portrays singer Michael McDonald in a sketch parodying his prevalence as a backing vocalist during the 1970s and 80s. In it, he's shown speeding to a studio set to Christopher Cross's Ride Like the Wind, where he spends the minute-long session between repeatedly singing his six words of the song ("such a long way to go") and arguing royalties with the producer. After he's finished, the producer tells him he'll probably call him in next week for another recording and McDonald runs back to his car to rush to the next studio.
