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Plot

In Westerville, Ohio, Kyle and Peter Reynolds are fraternal twins who were raised by their mother Helen, as their father died before they were born. Kyle is dating his pregnant girlfriend Kaylani and is wealthy from royalties for his image on BBQ sauce labels. Peter is a divorced proctologist with a teenage son Ethan who resents him.

Shortly after Helen's wedding to Gene, Peter recognizes an actor on Law and Order: SVU from photos of their supposed father and confronts Helen. She explains that she had been promiscuous at the time of their conception, and did not want their father involved. When they keep pressing, Helen reveals that their father is Terry Bradshaw.

The brothers fly to Miami to meet Bradshaw, who they encounter at a signing event. He is excited to have them as sons. As Bradshaw recounts stories with former teammate Rod Hamilton, they realize he had been in Australia at the time of their conception (a trip Helen had backed out of at the last minute) and thus cannot be their father. Bradshaw points out that Roland Hunt, a New York investor, dated Helen after him.

As they travel north after contacting Helen about him, Kyle finds that his BBQ sauce royalties deal is ending. Arriving at what they assumed was Hunt's office, they find a closed-up house. Hunt confronts them at gunpoint until they reveal why they were looking for him. He invites them inside, but expresses his dissatisfaction at having children in front of his mother. As the brothers prepare to depart, they offer to help Roland with his repossession service.

However, the brothers realize Hunt is a criminal when he breaks into a Ferrari, then slips away. As they argue with the owners of the car, Hunt flees only to feel remorse for abandoning his sons. The brothers jump into the Ferrari and hit Hunt who was returning to them. At the hospital, the brothers find out their blood type is incompatible with Hunt's when they try to give him a transfusion, so realize he cannot be their father. He also realizes that he was in prison at the time of their conception, but directs them to find another ex-boyfriend of Helen known as Sparkly P.

Unable to find Sparkly P, the brothers start driving home. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker who provides advice as they travel. After accidentally parking on railroad tracks, Peter and the hitchhiker narrowly escape getting hit by a train, while Kyle is stuck in the car and presumably killed.

Initially devastated, Peter is surprised to see Kyle walk away from the car, only to be punched by him for abandoning him. As they are being treated, police officers recognize the name Sparkly P as a sting alias of Patrick O'Callaghan, a retired police officer in Worcester, Massachusetts. After dropping off the hitchhiker with his family in the same location, the brothers stop at a hotel where Peter falls for a girl named Sarah and has a one-night-stand.

The brothers arrive at the house where there is a wake for Patrick. His daughter is invited to speak and Peter realizes that it is Sarah, their possible half-sister. Appalled, Peter runs out of the wake. Patrick's identical twin brother Kevin clears things up by saying that Patrick cannot be the father as he did not believe in premarital sex. He then directs them to the next of Helen's ex-boyfriends, Dr. Walter Tinkler. The brothers recall that Dr. Tinkler is a family friend and veterinarian in their home town.

Returning home, Kyle and Peter confront Dr. Tinkler in his office. After being called down, Helen arrives and reveals that she is not their biological mother. She and Dr. Tinkler had been working at a women's shelter when their actual mother came in and gave birth to them. She then died during childbirth and Helen chose to adopt Kyle and Peter instead of having them separated by social services. She also reveals she never knew their father at all. The brothers are happy to have learned their history.

One year later, Kyle, Peter, and Helen are on vacation in Maui. Peter is now dating Sarah and Ethan respects him. Kyle and Kaylani have twin daughters. The brothers have gone into business together and created an app that provides positive advice from the universe spoken by the hitchhiker.

Cast

Owen Wilson as Kyle Reynolds, Peter's fraternal twin brother. A laid-back model who made millions by selling his image to a BBQ sauce company, he is resented by Peter for his life being so easy.

Ed Helms as Peter Reynolds, Kyle's fraternal twin brother and a proctologist. He is divorced and facing a mid-life crisis because his teenage son Ethan hates him. Having never known his own father, Peter is unsure of how to deal with his son, inspiring him to attempt to find his biological father.

Glenn Close as Helen Baxter, Kyle and Peter's eccentric mother who is revealed to have been heavily sexually active in the mid-1970s and appears not to know who the twins' biological father is.

Annie Starke as young Helen Baxter

Christopher Walken as Dr. Walter Tinkler, a veterinarian and family friend who is one of the potential fathers of Kyle and Peter.

J. K. Simmons as Roland Hunt, a former financial investor in New York, reclusive criminal, and one of the potential fathers of Kyle and Peter.

Katt Williams as an unnamed hitchhiker who Kyle and Peter meet on their journey.

Terry Bradshaw as himself, a retired football player and one of the potential fathers of Kyle and Peter.

Ving Rhames as Rod Hamilton, a retired football player and friend/ex-teammate of Bradshaw.

Harry Shearer as Gene, Helen's new husband.

June Squibb as Mrs. Hunt, Roland Hunt's mother.

Jack McGee as Patrick "Sparkly P" O'Callaghan, a retired police officer in Worcester, Massachusetts and one of the potential fathers of Kyle and Peter who was dead before Kyle and Peter arrived.

Jack McGee also portrays Kevin O'Callaghan, Patrick's twin brother.

Ryan Cartwright as Liam O'Callaghan, one of Patrick's sons.

Ryan Gaul as Sean O'Callaghan, one of Patrick's sons who is not very bright.

Ali Wong as Ali, Dr. Tinkler's nurse.

Retta as Annie, Helen and Gene's wedding planner.

Jessica Gomes as Kaylani Reynolds, Kyle's girlfriend later wife.

Katie Aselton as Sarah O'Callaghan, the daughter of Patrick, niece of Kevin, and sister of Sean and Liam.

Zachary Haven as Ethan, Peter's teenage son who hates him.

Mary Grill as Katherine, Peter's ex-wife and Ethan's mother.

Debra Stipe as Karen Bradshaw, the wife of Terry Bradshaw.

Robert Walker Branchaud and B'nard Lewis as the police officers who direct Kyle and Peter to where Patrick lives.

Andrew Wilson as a quiet-talking hotel desk clerk

Taylor Treadwell as Kelly, the girlfriend of Liam.

Jim France as Father McManus, a priest who presides over Patrick's wake

Brian Huskey as Joel (uncredited)

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