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Craig Ferguson is a Scottish charity walker, men's mental health activist and waiter.
Not who you're looking for? Others named Craig Ferguson: British actor · Canadian ice hockey player
“Nothing says romance like hobos, martyrs and decapitations.”
“Change is the law of God's mind and resistance to it is the source of all pain.”
“As a vulgar lounge entertainer, my business relies on ridiculous stereotypes! If these people start using deodorant, I might as well just go home!”
“Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!”
“[reading an email] "Dear Craig, … are your letters written by your writers?" No. "Does this make me one of your writers?" (ponders) Yes. "Why haven't I been paid?" Because you're one of my writers!”
“[bends over] *errgh* Sorry for making that noise, but … that's what happens when you get older. One day what happens is that you bend over, and you never come back.”
Quotes via Wikiquote (CC BY-SA), each with its original source.
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